I tend to count how many times I use the bathroom at the shop. Silly, I know, but still. When I have to go use it I creep over quietly hoping Jack won't see me. Even though the door squeaks loud enough even for Jack(who is hard of hearing) to hear. In my head he's thinking, "Wow that girl uses the bathroom a lot. Maybe I should have her help pay for toilet paper." When really he probably doesn't notice or doesn't care.
Is it my generations desire to be obsessed with having some sort of mental disorder that causes me to notice these things about myself, and wonder what’s wrong with me? Is it all just a big cry for attention and medication? I have ADHD love me! I am Autistic fear and revere me! We used to go out of our way to pretend to be perfect. Now we compare our children’s doctors notes as if they were medals of honor. Where did it all come from? Are there still people out there content with there cross-eyed normal children?
Don't Know Why But I Do by Me
Why do I care what you think,
You are not the one in my head.
I never wanted your affections,
But then your smile gave me hope.
Stupid blind hope thats deaf to truth,
Blind and deaf yet still strives to live.
Even when I saw you walk with another,
My hope flew up forgetting all pain and tears.
I dreamt of your face untill I was sick,
And prayed that you would curse me.
But my hope would not give in,
She guides me to ruin.
Truth stabs me in the heart.
You never cared,
You never even
Knew my name.
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