The voice in my head told me to....write.

These are the facts.

1. I want to write.

2. I need to write.

3. I hate most of what I write.



How can I ever get going and stop whining? Argh. I found this poem by Sylvia Plath in a book of her letters, that her mother had published. Funny thing is my Mother bought the book for me :) . Anywho here is the poem---
You ask me why I spend my life writing?
Do I find entertainment?
Is it worthwhile?
Above all, does it pay?
If not, then, is there a reason?...
I write only because
There is a voice within me
That will not be still.


That is exactly how I feel, that there is a voice inside me demanding I write. But of what use are my words? There are millions of writers out in the world, do I even stand a chance? My lovely Mother says that if you love something just do it, don't try and make a profit off of it. Maybe that's my problem, I'm very good at over-complicating things. For example next time you see me, ask me what my favorite color is. :)



Sometimes when I see numbers I add them all together and then divide them by however many numbers there were. I love discovering the outcome and for a few seconds I don't feel so empty headed when it comes to math. When I was younger I used to enjoy math especially dividing and multiplying, it felt sort of like magic to me. But then as I got older and math got harder I lost interest and was convinced I couldn't do it. Where is my motivation??? I could have kept at it with a little hard work and sticktoittiveness. How did I get talking about math?! Motivation that's what I need, caffeine gives it to me sometimes mostly when I drink too much.



I've given myself a challenge that I have to admit was not my idea. Kate Bingaman-Burt wrote and illustrated the book Obsessive Consumption. The author illustrated her purchases for three years annotating on each one. I thought this was an interesting idea and that I should try it for a year. Because I don't buy something everyday and I'm constantly wondering where my money is going. I believe I started April 2nd, I'll see if I can post some of my drawings. It figures that right after I start this challenge, my family and I go garage saleing and all of our purchases get mixed together >:( . I'll try and sort it all out, and maybe I'll have gained some motivation and discipline by the time this year is over!

First and Foremost

My first blog, welcome me to this new age contraption.
I hate when you're getting started on something online and they ask those same awful questions. Favorite Books-Favorite Music-Favorite Movies, and any of the like. Am I the only one who thinks this is frustrating? Yes I do have favorites of these but I hate picking them. What if the others find out I didn't list them as my favorites? Will Little Mermaid and Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants attack me in my sleep? With music its even harder for me to choose. My music tastes involve mood swings and cravings, sort of like a pregnant woman I suppose, not that I would know. And I suppose there is always that pathetic fear that someone will read your profile and curse you for listening to, heaven forbid, Ashlee Simpson or something. Poor girl, I'm not the only one who has used her in this sort of sentence.
Will you only read my blog or acknowledge my existence if I have wicked taste in entertainment? Blah, enough ranting. So I now have a blog, thanks to my brother. Couldn't have done it without him! I am going to use this to motivate myself to write more and get my finished stuff online. Any and all are welcome to read what I have to say, sorry if its not to your liking.